This is one of the most transparent moments of my life. However, in order to take part in this journey, you must know the steps I traveled to arrive here. Before we dive in, lets pray.
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for this friend. Please move into their heart, transform their spirit, and renew their mind. Bless each of them for whatever action they will make for your glory as a result of visiting this page today.
Amen
For any who truly know me and even for those who only know of me via social media, can gather that I am not big on sharing the intimate details of my life. Its 2019, I am a rock-star of a wife for over a decade now and mother of nearly six years, I am in my mid-thirties, up to date on current events and trends, but I am only affiliated with one social media platform and my participation there is extremely scarce…not normal…I know.
Rewind my life thirteen years and I never envisioned this as my story. I was young, healthy, vibrate, and newly married to the man of my dreams. Imagine having someone to call your own who is God fearing, polishes all your imperfections, covers you in prayer, leads your household with impeccable strength, is quite nice on the eyes, and loves you so deep, you can’t help but continuously thank God for blessing you…that would be me in awe of His kindness of gifting me such a man (I love you babe).
Yet, after nearly six years of marriage, two devastating miscarriages, multiple medical appointments, diagnostics studies, medications, masked depression, and darken knees from wrestling hard with God in prayer, I was still tremendously empty and the isolation at times seemed too much to bear. With a sincere heart I would celebrate the growing families of my family and friends publicly and fall asleep countless nights in tears from the raw realization of my own situation. I’d done most of it “right”, yet life seemed so incredibly wrong.
Have you ever heard the cliche, “If you want to make God laugh, then make plans?”. Hand raised and I stand as a living testimony of just that. You see, while I was dreaming, God was already working. My husband and I officially became foster parents five years ago, however God began to set the framework for His plan in our lives when we were in high school. My weekends were not spent participating in the stereotypical shenanigans of high school students, but rather engaged in church and caring for the children of my teenage peers. God even saw fit to put us in close connection with individuals exposed to the workings of foster care and adoption. I say all that to say, God began teaching us how to love and let go long before we recognized His purpose for our lives.
As I began to share the fragments of my truth with those in my immediate circle and they interceded for me and my husband in prayer, the ideas of foster care were revealed to us from every angle. I still wrestled for months and months, drowning in the shadows of many emotions and desperate for a chance to prove the doctors were wrong. I remember one day standing in the bathroom mirror with a tear stained face, talking to God as I held yet another negative pregnancy test in one hand and my cell phone with the foster care agencies number across the screen in the other hand, saying “I hear you and I surrender to your will…have your way.” Little did I know, the call I was about to make, would forever change the trajectory of not only my life, but that of my husband, my family, and my friends.
Don’t get me wrong, I still cannot talk about my battle with infertility without sadness, but on the contrary , I cannot talk about the journey thus far as a foster parent, my walk with God, my marriage, and the preciousness of my forever son without overwhelming joy! I am so grateful for the shift made in my life and what I once perceived as bad, God made over for good. He is so faithful….far more than I will ever deserve.
I would like to invite you to come along with me and explore foster care and adoption through my life and family. I will not share the intimate details of our children’s stories, for it is not my story to tell. What I will share are the ins and outs of loving and supporting a child and their family while in a hard place. I will share the unspoken truths and forgotten needs of our community and culture in relation to the youth and underprivileged families that are in dire need of our help. I will share how God remains faithful in the darkest moments, restores hope and returns light to His children.
I pray that your heart will open, your mind be enlighten, and your soul crave to be a part of the change.
God bless you.
S
Faith in Hard Places 